Wednesday, 6 November 2013

My last words for you..

When I struggle to understand, why you are not mine;
In the night full of stars, the brightest one refuses to shine.

On a night like this, I remember loving you in the moonlight;
My love continues to grow, replenishing me each night.

I kissed you so many times, and my love gripped you in pride;
My Soul still wanders at places, where you and I are tied.

I search for you each night, to sleep in your embrace;
Then I search for the wind, to get me your every trace.

My tears, your promise and this distance I hate;
Burning in your absence, my soul in a crippled state.

Maybe the last pain, and destiny gets me through;
Maybe I am writing away, my last words for you....

Monday, 21 October 2013

A longing unsure

Right from my soul, to that soul I find myself with, every time and everywhere.. ~ Maya

Words flowing in this poem, just as I am feeling;
Outgrown with love and equally intense longing.

Nurtured by your love, my poetry got a face;
Those words now astray, without your embrace.

When a craving for you slowly emerges;
Your voice I hear and a new desire surges.

Even in this pain, my wishes endure;
Despite this distance, a longing unsure.

Do you see me inching closer to you each day?
Silently whispering my feelings, as I fling my mask away.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

I miss you too.

A constant feeling of your touch, with nothing else to choose;
But when I look at you, you find me cutting loose.

And then the things about us, I choose to despise;
Until I get caught, in your brown seductive eyes.

As I lie down, trying to feel your touch on me;
Some coincidences I relook for, but still can't see.

If I have to tell you everything I've learnt;
And the truth I quash, despite getting burnt.

I miss your words, as much as I miss you;
My pain yet to surface, camouflaged but true.

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Your last words sealed with a kiss..

Once upon a time, began a war from within,
Fighting hard as yet, but I lose to a sin.

Constantly drenched in things, never meant to be,
Trying to seek control, before I'd lose all signs of me.

In this time, hurting comes easy than to survive,
Such is this struggle, with immense strive.

Your touch tells me why, I 'd cry some tears,
Each night, even after many many years.

In that look in your eyes, there's nothing I don't know,
While I feel everything, Love lays itself, subdued and hollow.

A beautiful yesterday, repressed memories for today,
But a stray belief upholds, my tomorrow in someway.

Some tiny light inside, hopeful of a life, happy and good,
Wants to fill me with innocence, like I had in childhood.

Every time I ask myself, "Will I be able to live with this?",
Resurrects my hope, with Your Last Words sealed with a kiss.

"If I ever need a miracle, I will need your touch."

Saturday, 31 August 2013

My passionate man.

There was a man, poetry was his passion,
When we met, his new poetry had begun.

Exploring its pages, in the rhymes we had flown,
Deeper and deeper in the world, we made our own.

I didn't know him and where he came from,
But my eyes would promise his, in some form.

My love shall carry his, until it can,
See what you mean to me, my passionate man!

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Choice is a gift of freewill

Mortals just like having choices. 
To feel more empowered and good about what they choose.
Nothing but an illusion that our lives are in our control!

One reaches the final commitment after exploring numerous choices.

Having said that, none wants to make a choice and take a decision on their own which will get them out of their present comfy life.. even when the proposed life from of that new decision could be better. But, there is no surety, because future is always uncertain. Although most decisions we make are intuitive. But its about those decisions where we are not able to decide what we want.We either want everything from the choices or we want none. Well, according to me no choice or decision can be wrong. Its the most appropriate choice made at a given point of time. But then what goes wrong? Its the outcome!

When you choose a path of personal empowerment, an internal struggle rages. One part of you wants to move and the other wants to halt. 

Why do mortals get so skeptic while making the choices and decisions for important things in life?
One of the reasons is because, they are not sure whether their life will still move on if they don't choose or decide at a particular time.  May be that’s where they bring in the concept of Destiny.
Nevertheless, I don't ever want to rely on destiny whether I can or cannot, I always would want to make an attempt to shape it myself! 
Despite no one can give us surety of what will really decide our future, at least we can assume that our choices do. The choices are still being made whether knowledge of those choices existed beforehand or not.

You always have a Choice; and when you begin to think what is missing, it is another attempt to put your life in order.

The whole point here is, that its YOUR LIFE!
And if you don’t like your reality, then change it! 
Each moment you meet, is a reality that you have allowed to happen!

Therefore it becomes important, that you must allow your first choice to be made towards deciding on what you exactly want and your basic priorities in life. The bigger decisions will also get easier thereafter.

Choice is the gift of freewill. 

Choice is keystone to a desired change and may call for your new birth. And when found in love, you get to see some divine happiness, serendipity and numerous opportunities towards success. Affirm your will and assert your passion. Mother Nature never forgets its children and will usher in to offer you the necessary support and care in shaping your reality.

Oracle: Oh, don't worry about it. As soon as you step outside that door, you'll start feeling better. You'll remember you don't believe in any of this fate crap. You're in control of your own life, remember?

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Sleepless stupor.

She hears his voice each night and looks for him,
Quickly gets off her bed and turns to the window brim.

She stumbles over the table and her quest in vain,
She reaches out to comfort him, but not show her pain.

She feels his touch, his fragrance and his footfall,
Despite the surroundings, for her, his presence is all.

It must be tough to pass each night anew,
Lying awake in splinters, the dark night threw.

From his thoughts, she has no respite, no escape,
Without his love, her world sees no meaning, no shape.

Her soul sprawls in pain, she cries herself to sleep,
As the night comes again, she knows it is just another weep.

In this sleepless stupor, she whispers, “My world seems a drag without you,
Show me a sign, if your life is splintered too.”

Know yourself, know your passion.

Getting stuck in your muddled thoughts that are getting you nowhere? Feeling like you have been constantly awake to do something, but just can't seem to get down to actually doing it?Well, we can't be "awake" all the time. You have to be down to be able to get up. You can't just skip that step. This is that period when you gather new seeds, new insights about self, new knowledge or ability, new mentor or guide. I am sure that through such knowledge or ability, self-knowledge and guidance, you are able to recognize the real passion of your life.

Remember - You alone have the power to give a complete experience to your being, your passion and purpose in life. And the ones, who are reluctant to recognize what you are, always will oppose you.

Ask yourself this question – What is that force within me, which is constantly safeguarding my optimism and my true identity? That force is your ‘Passion’. Once you affirm your will and assert your passion, Mother Nature will usher in to offer you the necessary care in some form for you to enrich in this identity.
One of the reasons I wanted to write is because my I thought nobody is writing stuff I’m interested in. Just before I began writing, I remember how the lines in my head used to find desperate ways to land on a page. Subsequently I got introduced to Twitter, and I began tweeting that accumulated stuff in my head in mere 140 characters. At that time, I thought that I was kind of screaming into a void! And because of this self-doubt, I couldn't believe that anyone would want to read my tweets. But, my first follower shocked me as much as the recent one.
The thoughts popping up and desperate to find that spark on a page, followed by the craving to grab a quill and write frantically...Sigh! In this rush to catch my Muse's words, I always miss something. That something is Reality. I love basking in this identity, in this madness for a long time. It's always tough to resist what seems to be an inspiration. Like the one Mother Nature gifted me, My Living Muse.

Can’t every mortal have his individual sky;
So that whenever he feels, he can soar and fly.
An impulse to fly into a world, from where I don’t wish to return;
For I have discerned there is a sky, that knows my dreams and its pattern.

“Recognize that force, that inspiration and soar in your individual sky. Know yourself, know your passion.”

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Life always gives you a checkmate

Somehow, most of us manage our life badly.
When you have to accomplish conflict resolution, problem fixing, or decision making in wavering circumstances, you need to not only consider the logical aspects but also humane and well-being of a specific person or the society. Most situations force you to think too much to be able to weigh all the pros and cons before concluding to a final point. And you end up feeling that your brain is over working than even the most hi-tech machine in this world.

I had read somewhere that our limbic system of the brain gets confused when it receive intense stimulus coming from our aspirations. The insecurity towards fulfilling the aspirations makes you feel vulnerable to them and you feel like you are no longer in control of your emotions. You begin to feel like Life has put you on back foot. Yeah! I believe this is one of the ways the Universe reminds us, that we are too tiny.

Life is known to throw situations at us and then awaits a response from us. I believe that when a character is powerful, there exists the courage to make the right choices. And I see that, "that something" is a side of you that has made a choice, the best it can. A willingness to face life, with courage and not by giving up. And in every such time, the way of thinking gradually becomes honest. And when the thinking is honest, you move to a new level of cognizance, a new paradigm and a new faith.

Although things may seem like a wrong, but for once in your life you can trust your instincts and manoeuvre away from what you once viewed as your “intended path” to explore new ventures. Perhaps, some ‘Coincidences’ that occur in your life could be anonymous gifts from Mother Nature & we must not ignore them. Probably they are a lead to your sovereignty.

Nevertheless, we think we know and understand Life, but Life always gives you a checkmate!

Monday, 1 July 2013

...And chirps my tickled brain.

Things are getting entangled, like a bunch of grey hair;
A tired me seeking for ways, resting in this armchair.

I cant believe within, the presence of an empty mind;
Constantly recycling, those crowded thoughts of every kind.

For what I miss often, is captured in my every heartbeat;
The love that forms me, restores my being and paces its heat.

I think its time for questions, let me introspect within;
I wish to know, what and how time has to bring in.

A sudden numb silence, is taking place of my speech,
For things once sought, are now seen out of reach.

With you around, I begin to bloom, I begin to beam;
But the noises in my head tell me, you're losing all the steam.

I wish a serene intimacy and everything in it, that does matter;
I wish I was in your arms, as your fingers allow my hair to scatter. 

As I pen this poem, looking outside in the rain;
My forehead feels that kiss, and chirps my tickled brain.

Monday, 24 June 2013

Some connections...

In life, we meet different people and from them, some become our close buddies or even develop special connections. Each one of them represents a world in us, a world which never existed until they arrive. And there is one special connection about which, I am going to talk about in this post. A connection that arrives with a madness, strong passion and a strange magnetism you'd have never felt before with anybody. 

I wouldn't want to define or name this connection, simply because it is a part of that mysterious world which operates on an entirely different system, whose boundaries are difficult to decipher.

When people feel connected, their individual souls begin to resonate at a particular frequency, to be able to sync with each other without any physical contact. It is such that one's state of being gets inherently impacted by the other's.

You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, you can cover your ears to the things you don't want to hear. But you cant close your soul to the things you don’t want to feel. The universal law of attraction states that what you resist will persist, and what you pursue will remain just beyond reach

"Hey, there you are! I have been looking for you!”
If you can hear your soul saying this to someone, just know that it has recognized its twin. 
There are too many mediocre things around. Love is definitely not one of them. 

~ Maya
* dedicates this post to her living Muse *

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The bench for two..

Those times when we had met, I used to be very confused and thrown off by whirls in every storm that hit me. “Sometimes Destiny should be held by its collar and shown who the boss is.” I still miss him comforting me while he used to say that.
Well, Destiny gave me a checkmate. I proved to be his biggest mistake while he remained the best thing to ever happen to me.

Today, after a long wait, we met.
It was at the same esplanade and the same bench for two.
I spoke of everything I could. He considered me but, was mostly quiet.
Nevertheless, the undercurrent of a discernible affinity was still evident between us.
As I felt it, I remembered a line he used to tell me, “You might deny and ignore something umpteen times, but in the end, you’ll get hit by its eventuality.”

Suddenly, I heard him speak! And then, my entire being wanted to listen to him with anticipation. As I looked at him, his feelings quickly came to me like a quiver,
“When I touched you, life touched me. I can’t live without you.”

I have had no reason in emotion or feeling to stay away from him. Yet I remained quiet.
Sigh! Where does one escape, when you are responsible to destroy the person who retrieved you from those storms?
Today, what is it that hurts me the most? It’s those moments he misses me.  

I still meander to express my true feelings to him, in many ways. But, there was only one way to mean it. Even today, every inch of me cries out to him, “I am waiting to hold your hand too, while you fight Destiny with the other.”

I remember that evening before we had parted and I had decided to drop him home. Before saying a good bye, with slightly moist eyes I had expressed my wish to him,” I wish to be there besides you…everywhere…even there…where we become stars.”

Destiny was kind enough to fulfil only a part of this wish …….my last wish!

The dawn was about to break. I quickly kissed a good bye to his sleeping eyes and whispered,
Through this journey between the stars and that esplanade, I will always wait for you on this same bench for two”.

"If you cannot get off someone’s impressions, it’s maybe because it’s supposed to be permanently etched in your Soul. A Soul can recognize what the mind will try to refute."  ~ Maya

Thursday, 28 March 2013

What really changed?

         Emily was insisting that she would go out alone now.  She doesn’t want Miguel to be with her all the time; especially when she is busy doing some personal things.  Emily liked the company of her neighbour, Remo.  Remo was smart, tall and handsomely dark.  But with Miguel around, Emily was always a little conscious while doing her routine things on the morning round.  She kept telling herself “I am young enough now to handle some things on my own.”

          Miguel had to give up one day.  He instructed Emily about the usual round, the turnings on the road, the probable attractions she would come across on her way and which of course, she should avoid.  The long chain was removed at last but the belt around her neck showing her ultimate ownership, was allowed to rest as usual.
         Phew! This feels fantastic!  Emily breathed deeply and sensed the sheer happiness.  She took the usual road, the usual stops and met the usual friends.  She flirted with Remo more openly today.  Everyone nodded with great appreciation and commented casually, “Seems like trying to run away from Miguel”.  But Emily was least bothered.  In fact she could have easily given a bark or a bite in return, but “No.” She only thought, “Oh heavenly God, Forgive them.  They don’t know what they are talking about.”
           For a week or two, she tried this, going out alone…… all alone.  But surprisingly she started thinking about Miguel.  How he chats with her while on the round, where he stops for his routine cigarette and buddies, how he caresses her when she is a good girl. 
“Oh my God, Is he my Master or my inevitable companion? Why at all am I thinking about him? Does he take me on a round every day or I make him run after me?”  Emily now, was a bit confused. 

          With a whoo hoo, she shared this with some of her friends. Some approved of her freedom, some were worried for security reasons.  Some even couldn’t understand why this venture all of a sudden?  “But anyway, all are friends in the end and care for me”, Emily thought. 
          Then she decided to play a safe game.  She herself requested Miguel to accompany her on the usual outings.  Miguel…..overwhelmed with Emily’s surrender, took a very casual decision.  He purchased a New Long Italian Leather Belt for Emily in place of the old steel chain.  Now Emily and the Master, both go together everywhere, Master happy with her presence, Emily happy for the safety she deserves from him.

 Ultimately, the Belts changed…… and not the relations bent by it.

In Love or in Pain!

You once decided to show me the mirror. But, it fell off your hands.
The glass pieces are still stuck in my eyes. I'm carefully removing them.
I hope my eyes find you the same.

Encompassing the dismal hopes, a deafening fury difficult to lookout;
The floodgates now loosened, for the fiery river wanting to breakout.
Empty traces of air, blasting from within as I see;
Like an oracle fooling and mocking around me.
Alike a rainbow amid a storm, that doesn't come alive;
My being feels numb and hollow, deep inside.

“When I touched you, life touched me”, You had said.

The tranquility of the hundreds of storms you instill;
Stroke me to sleep until my heart chants “Be tranquil.”
I shall give in to you, again and again;
Be it in Love or in Pain!

“Love in its true form can eliminate your fear of believing in the one you love.”

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Love fractured so deep!

Those dreams came gift wrapped in a deceiving grace;
She unpacked, and reality exploded on his face.

Dangling on the edge of reality, she spun a web about them;
She slept off and dreamt another web, waiting for them to condemn.

She screams out freely but, only inside her soul;
Where he stays just as an entity, without any role.

Their time under trial, as new desires were born;
Quietly seeking each other, for a transformation forlorn.

Their souls have begun to tremble, in some fear they creep;
Overwhelmed in remorse, love fractured so deep.

Its nigh, time to reflect!

I just remembered a thought, once called as gathering sand,
Then a voice beckoned, reminding me of its ever upper hand.

A thundering black cloud capable of giving anybody a nightmare,
Only I could see its silver lining, but then I too drench in scare.

Have no respite whether sleeping or awake,
Under some spell it feels and my best dreams to shake.

I'll for sure resurrect and equal hope,
Despite whatever situations I may need to cope.

My soul now seeks for a place secure;
Where my world and his words can endure.

From the eye of my Soul I can see a world;
Where every being would thrive on his written word.

Telling my story to a stranger can't bring you to me;
The direction of wind cannot decide, the way our lives are going to be.

I know only a few need me, who might turn to other people soon;
My passing will be a setback, but I'll be remembered as a boon.

Sunday, 3 February 2013


It’s cold everywhere without you, your embrace;
Heartbeats faltering in some anxiety, I'm unable to trace.
And then, all the primitive desires once caught by fear;
Blooming one by one, as those moments were here.

He held her face in his hands, kissing softly, tucked her under his chin and whispered, “I love you baby. You may lean on me and I’ll help you find all those missing pieces.”

My soul feels safe, when you are by my side;
Together we become, stronger than any tide.
An unseen unconscious move, into the embrace of your eyes;
Causes a fall in every restraint, and I begin to rise.

When the night belonged to us, who knew what would've happened then;
Every ounce of me rejoicing, feeling your ounce in me once again.
I began to love everything in which, your presence I could see;
Because it was you who was creating, your space inside me.

I knew not what you felt like, until your every inch whispered across mine, pulling me closer, addicting my soul.

Last night again it happened, I was sleeping when you were here;
I fell to your safe arms, though my dreams now come with a tear.
Occasional union whenever we choose to mate;
Rest is suffering in silence or struggling with fate.

Hold me don’t let me go. Make me look into your eyes to feel that sweet longing and agony that I am lost to you. ~ Maya

And towards you I tread….

Within me, amid so many wonderful feelings I learn;
I come across a love that asks for no return.
For that Passion with which, my soul wishes to be;
And that Love that takes away me, from me.

That passionate moment when you told me "You are mine'";
And I still feel lost in, those brown eyes giving out every sign.
I could not believe it, since I hardly did knew;
That I had somewhere reserved a night for you.

Slowly heightened passion, emotions running deep;
Your gaze locked my eyes, and I couldn't sleep.
I awakened, while you touched my every desire;
Only to ignite some more passion in that fire.

You said you always find me, in your every fantasy;
And beneath that mask were you, waiting to get thrown into ecstasy.
Whilst asleep in your embrace, I remember that sudden quickening of my heart;
And the way you arched yourself closer, to comfort my every part.

Those arms and it's force, uncontrollably strong;
And my soul gave in, as nothing seemed wrong.
Safe and warm, you held me tight;
While sharing our desires at that night.

Do you remember feeling me through your fingertips,
Enveloping me inside till you gave in to my innocent lips.
Amid clueless moves, you started from my lips;
A sighing collapse thereafter , where ecstasy drips

Absolute submerge in your love, and stumbling of every virgin thought;
Heat penetrating in my skin, while in ecstasy we were caught.
That Night offered us such compassion even in its cold;
It wrapped us in passion and had the warm sheets to unfold.

A tiring but cute fight, happening below the warm sheets;
Yet again that longing for exchanging each other's gifts
Despite coyness, some yearning propels me ahead;
And I trace a path on which, towards you I tread.

Sunday, 6 January 2013

That Passion.

That Passion I met and while feeling special at that time;
I discovered that our Souls and even bodies rhyme.
Despite anything, some yearning propels me ahead;
Somehow I trace a path on which towards you I tread.

Still gushing in me are traces of that surprise kiss;
Deeper you were reaching, just before that ultimate bliss.
That Passion comes to meet me in many guises;
A touch here, a tickle there and many steamy surprises.

All it took was a stunning gaze following a passionate kiss;
To realize your corners inside me and places I still miss.
During that stunning gaze, your eyes flirted with my soul;
Gushing through each pore, my feeling then out of control.

I can never forget, when you had held my hand in rage;
It felt like the most strongest force, I could ever gauge.
That passion in your gaze and serenity in your embrace;
Is how I rose in your love even in times of haze.

To each night I narrate the wonderful stories of your embrace;
And the moments I lived in those hours of obtaining grace.
That Passion I see in you and the warmth I find in your brown eyes;
Remembering it, while I seek coolness from the moonlight in these skies.

Would that Passion still be, if I am unable to be in any other way?
Would you allow me to love you and let us live each day?
I remember you saying that, Love doesn't judge nor has any goal;
And that all that Passion knows and is eager, is to serve the soul.

"Perhaps just doesn't exist in Love, you can only be sure in it and the good news is that Love has a habit of coming back" ~ Maya

To Live and Love

Once I knew a man, who attracted me with his passion;
Who wrote beautiful poetries feeling some connection.
His quill made love with poems and stories a lot;
I wish to be his muse, be in each idea and every thought.

Having no respite whether sleeping or awake;
Under some spell it feels and the best dreams to shake.
What we always wished for us, was only love and care;
When we sought for each other, hands empty in despair.

You! You consumed us, resided in us and tortured us;
Showed us that dark side, our souls fearful and haunted thus.
I pray to Mother Nature to do us a last favor;
I am sure her love will help us cross over.

We wish to live in our world of fantasy;
To scream and retell whatever we see.
I know his Soul, like mine, is urging to write;
Please return us our times, we don't wish to fight.

My soul's hungry for those words since ages;
I thrive on them else could die on those blank pages.
I now seek The One, the Soul of a writer;
In this darkness, I know that’s our only shelter.

Where am I and where's my Quill?

Its around the first anniversary of my blog and I am feeling highly terrible about ignoring it. Lack of writing and then calling myself a writer? I just cant have any excuse! Period.

"A Soul once known for its quality to control will;
Endeavored to write with an uninspired quill."

Thanks to some of my readers and Twitter pals who reminded me of my ignorance. And of course, special thanks to that special soul - My quill's eternal inspiration.

Well, past few months I think I was on an unplanned sabbatical from writing. And during this very time, I underwent some experiences and each one of them consumed me differently. I fell sick, I got hurt, I felt unloved and I became hopeless. But, at the same time Mother Nature made sure I was getting reintroduced to 'Love' in various forms. I wish to share them with you.

The most touching moment during that time came in the form of an evening. I was returning home from my doctor's clinic and was around the elevator area of my building. Suddenly, I came across someone from whom I couldn't take my eyes off. While I waited for the elevator, I looked at him and my world kinda stopped right there! Sigh!! I had caught him gazing at me with all the world's love in his eyes! I saw love for me in his watery eyes. I call him Manu. A 2.5 months old puppy and a new refuge at the security lounge.
A couple of days later, at around 6:30 am in the morning I woke up to the worst condition of my health those days. I managed to walk up to the window, pulled the curtains aside and found my favorite plant waiting to surprise me with beautiful flowers of this season. Sigh!! It seemed that they bloomed just to give me hope.
During the weekend I was stuck at a place I visit often. It was around 3 pm in the noon and I was damn hungry. As I was eagerly waiting in a queue, a 3 year old baby Evlyn offered me a bite from her candy and handed over her biscuit pack. Sigh!! My heart was engulfed in love and warmth.
And Manu, he still continues to gaze lovingly and follows me everywhere.

What had changed? I was touched at those corners inside me which never knew even existed. I had genuinely 'felt loved'. They all gave me the ability to feel alive, they gave me inspiration and most importantly, that dire urge to write.

"The poetries I wrote, complained that they feel wasted;
A revival they demand and want those words resurrected."

Those times, those moments revived a feeling of gratitude towards every being in this Universe. I will write, no matter what! This is not a resolution, but a realization that, this quill always possessed the will to embrace serendipity.